i just read my schoolmate’s blog for the 1st time. i realise that his blog is very truthful and carries  a very direct tone and style. carrying his heart on his sleeves. and this greatly contrasts out my blog and myself which often always have an indirect mention to people and subtle feelings…hoping that people will take note of it? maybe its just that im afraid of showing my true feelings all out in plain words. whenever i tell someone something close to me, my heart always skips abit. for what reason i dont really know.  i just somehow have a slight inherent guard for things. and when things go wrong, i would turtle myself and rather be spiteful. this is rather hard to overcome. and makes myself unbelievable that i sometimes wonder where would that one person that i can really talk, when the fault mostly lies with me.. ive always believe that such things are a 2 way street. so sometimes when i feel that it suddenly become a one way traffic, i would get rather pissed and raise my guard..oh well..just another queer point about me.

i also realised that i rarely or never mention names in my blog. its always a “he/she”. maybe its self-censorship? or what? i dont really know. but i never feel safe revealing names. it seems like a gigantic magnet to attract troubles and issues. yet never had i met with any of such problems in the first place. so is it a case of pointless defence?

well, this prompts me to kind of think things over. maybe shall alter my blogging style a bit, one baby step at a time.